I Ain’t Going To Hell

Long ago in another century,
Hank Hill uttered this holy verse.
He said, "You're not making Christianity better.
You're making rock and roll worse."

Now, you don't know any better than I
what's going to happen when you die
And you don't know any different from me
If we're going to hell or getting groceries
And you don't know, but you're so sure
The books that you read and the things that you heard
Well, I hope that they help you on your search
I ain't going to hell
But I sure as hell ain't going to church

Now, I ain't got a problem we can solve
by dragging me down to an altar call
I don't want to hear no thin veiled speech
Then go and have Mexican to eat
I need money, time, and to feel free
They're up there Sunday, taking all three
Climb down off of the holy perch.
I ain't going to hell,
but I sure as hell ain't going to church (No)

Call Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, and Krishna
Tell them I'm sorry and I'll be right with you
Tell Joseph Smith and ole L Ron
That I politely decline whatever's going on
I wish your cult the best of luck
May the comet arrive on time
May you make a tax-free buck
Now, I don't know any different than you
If God is an alien or if he's a Jew
And you don't know, there ain't no way to tell
If you think that's funny or he'd send me to hell
and you don't know any better than us
If Jesus rode a donkey or a magic bus,
may your life last longer than your skirt
I ain't going to hell,
but I sure as hell ain't going to church
Good Lord (pick it)

Now, I don't know not one thing more
Than anybody else that's ever been here before,
but it's all made up and that's just great
If I'm going to hell,
it's going to have to wait
I don't know what happened
I don't know what's next
Oh, the joy of religious sects/sex
Good luck, pilgrim, on your search
I ain't going to hell,
but I sure as hell ain't going to church (No)