Tylenol

Lyrics

Back in April, RFK went on the TV.
He said “a lot of stuff could use my fixing”
If you'll remember, he said by September,
He would get down to the bottom of autism.

Well, the days tick by and the time arrived
and he didn't have much to show.
He's getting pretty stressed,
until he looked into his desk,
and found a bottle of Tylenol.

Tylen-all our problems start with Tylenol
I'm so glad we found the one and only cause of it all.
Who needs evidence when your pal's the president
and you're standing with the great wizard of Oz Maha ha ha

Tylen-all our problems stem from acetaminophen
Though give me credit where it counts
at least I manage to pronounce.
Well, the problems in the cabinet,
problems in the purse,
Sure a fever kills a baby, but the Tylenol is worse.

It ain't the pesticides, the processed foods or pollution seeping in.
And it wouldn't simply couldn't never ever be the men.
What's this strange preoccupation neurodivergent-folk fixation?
What exactly are they striking out to fix?
If the people aren't convinced
with your hateful rhetoric,
perhaps the malady
resides with all you dicks.

Tylen-all our problems start with Tylenol
I'm so glad we found the one and only cause of it all.
Who needs evidence when your pal's the president
and you're standing with the great wizard of Oz Maha ha ha

Annotations and Notes on Lyrics

Tylenol is a satirical song that plays on fear, misinformation, and political intervention in public health. It critiques a world where a common over-the-counter pain reliever becomes the center of conspiracy and panic due to inept leadership.

The song riffs on real-world events in 2025, when conspiracy theorist, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., serving as Secretary of Health under President Trump, made public claims linking Tylenol to autism — a widely criticized claim that contradicts decades of scientific research that shows no causal connection. His assertions fueled confusion, fear, and distrust in established medical guidance. Trump gave a press conference and could barely pronounce “Acetaminophen,” when he labeld it as dangerous, and after repeated tries, still butchered the term.

Mainstream health authorities, including the CDC and NIH, repeatedly reaffirmed that Tylenol (acetaminophen) is safe when used as directed, and that autism is a neurodevelopmental condition with complex genetic and environmental influences, not caused by common pain relievers.

The satire in Tylenol points to how easily misinformation can spread when amplified by political authority and highlights the cultural moment when medical expertise, public policy, and conspiracy-driven narratives collided, and when leaders who reject scientific consensus held power.

By turning a household medicine into a dramatic punchline, the song invites listeners to reflect on how fear — not evidence — can drive public debate, policy decisions, and personal anxiety about everyday life.

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